I've blown a few things in my day
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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