Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
