She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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