My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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