It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
