Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
