the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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