Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
