just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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