absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
