I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
