Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
