lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
