Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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