every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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