His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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