The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
