You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
