Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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