Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Come on in and take your pants off
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