Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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