Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
