She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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