Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
