Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
