bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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