Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
