She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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