No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.