i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
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Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.