Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
