I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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