Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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