I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
