I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I forget how to act sober
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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