Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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