Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
