your thong is hanging out like whoa
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
