She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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