Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
