this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
wow bdsm is so cute
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