Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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