I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
