I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
