She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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