OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
