I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
