just come out here and I will go home with you...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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