You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
