new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
