My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
