It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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