Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
