I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
