Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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