at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
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dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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