at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
