Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
