i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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